For my family and friends who may read this and not know what an ally is, it means a person who is not a part of a minority community, whether racial, sexual orientation, queer, transgender, and so forth, but is an ally in achieving the human rights that that community deserves. (If I have that definition wrong, please let me know.)

racismschool:

Only make a mistake once-I don’t mean you only make one mistake. I mean, when you get called out for making a mistake, you acknowledge, apologize and move on. Then, you never make that particular mistake again.

Know what you’re talking about-You don’t have to know everything but you should act like that is a goal. No, it doesn’t actually have to be a goal but you should always be learning. No matter the community you claim ally status for, you should know that communities, all communities, change. Things that were once acceptable are now offensive. Things change. People change. Being an ally is an ongoing moving, breathing thing. You must change with the community or renounce your status.

Know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em- Every ally has one lesson they must learn, know when to keep your mouth shut. One of the most important lessons is to never challenge a person’s perspective when the conversation is community specific. Remember, being an ally FOR a community and being a person WITHIN said community are not the same things. I’ll use myself as an example: If there were two Trans people talking about what adjectives they preferred to be used for them as Trans people, I have no place in this conversation. My ally status does not allow me to join this conversation. That is a discussion and decision for THEM to make. I have no say. It doesn’t matter if I agree with one and not the other. I should remain silent. This isn’t about me. It is not my place. 

Mind the company you keep- No, you may not automatically be a racist if you hang out with racists but…I’ll have a hard time understanding your decision. Some cases you can’t help. We all know you can only get so far away from your family and they (might) happen to be racist. We know. However, your two friends that like to slide little racist comments into the conversation from time to time, I don’t know why you are hanging out with them. It’s not even that it’s a clear cut situation of “I am an ally for racial justice so as soon as you say something racist, I am not going to talk to you anymore.” That isn’t what I mean. Plus, you are going to be lonely as hell if you live like that. What I mean is, if you are constantly speaking out when you hear something racist, aren’t you going to be spending all of your time with your racist friends, arguing? Is that a fun thing to do? Why are you hanging out with them again?

Be you-Being an ally does not mean you take on the characteristics (often stereotypical) of the group you are being an ally for. You think the community you ally for wouldn’t like the music you listen to? So what? Listen to it anyway. Who cares if they like it? You being liked and you being an ally are not the same thing. Side note: If people, any people, are being shitty to you because you like things that they don’t, get away from them. You can still keep your convictions. You can still be a great ally and not hang out with people within that community that treat you like shit. Being an ally does not mean that you are accepted by everyone in the community. It also doesn’t mean that you like everyone in that community.